⚠️ THIS IS SATIRE - For Educational Purposes Only
DEFINITELY LEGIT
RECOVERY™
RECOVERY™
🔒SECURE • TRUSTED • REAL
|
FUNDS RECOVERED (THIS SECOND)
$847293847293
* Numbers randomly generated for satirical purposes
(This button does nothing because this is a parody website)
How It Works (We Won't Tell You)
Our proprietary process that we definitely didn't just make up
🔮
STEP 1
We Use Advanced Technology
🧙♂️
STEP 2
Our Experts Do Expert Things
💰
STEP 3
Money Appears Magically
(Hover over each step to see why this is nonsense)
📊 OUR TOTALLY REAL STATISTICS
Recovered This Week
$0
Success Rate
0%
Years of Experience
Yes
Happy Customers
All of Them
Offices Worldwide
Definitely
Trust Score
∞/10
* All statistics are 100% fabricated for educational purposes. If you see numbers like these, run.
💬 "TESTIMONIALS"
From people who are definitely not stock photos
🚨 THIS IS FAKE
"I lost $50,000 and they got back $500,000! That's not how math works but okay!"
John D. (Definitely Real Person)
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
🚩 RED FLAGS CHECKLIST
Click each flag to learn why it's suspicious
🚩Unsolicited contact about lost funds+
🚩Vague "technology" claims+
🚩Pressure to act immediately+
🚩Request for upfront payment+
🚩Too-good-to-be-true recovery rates+
🚩Stock photos as staff/testimonials+
🚩Comments under scam victim posts+